Best Doctor In The World

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true? !
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise.. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.



Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.



Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! .... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best! feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! ! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:

'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride'



AND......

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

MacSaggy

Saw the advert yesterday about Double Fish Fillet and Seaweed Shaker Fries. Must had been real hungry cause I don't remember being so tempted the last time this two came out.

So today I head over to CP to get my hands on them. But changed my mind towards the end and get a LJS 3 pcs chicken promo and a seaweed shaker fries instead. Cause it cost a few cents cheaper than me getting a Double Fish Fillet EVM in the end. Cheapo is a must have in this society and economy.

Either my teeth are getting weaker or the LJS chicken has become tougher. I think it should be the latter. Totally challenging how the 'rooted' my teeth are to my gums. Though my teeth and gums stand up the challenge, I think that will be the near last time I'll be eating LJS chicken. Who knows my teeth will fail me next time?

Abt the seaweed shaker, I'll have to say it's pretty MSG-full. NICE~ But it's not enough me as I mixed my LJS fries with the Mac ones. My bro says the LJS fries goes better with the seaweed seasoning, saying that more seasoning tends to 'stick' on the LJS fries than the Mac ones.

Totally dig the seaweed seasoning now. Anyone knows how much it is to buy just the seasoning nia?

DON'T EAT/DRINK WHEN READING THIS POST

Was reading Xiaxue's twitter and saw this:
F***ing disgusting la. I hate when plp work out too much. What's this crap about the only way to be slim is through gyming? The end result is they get too ripped and become like what chinese will call 干尸.

Anyway how thin you wanna be? Set a target and stick to MAINTAINING that instead of exclaiming 'yes' once you reach it & set another with lower weight. If you wanna challenge the 'impossible' so much, might as well set it as 'zero kg' right?

And I totally agree with XX's tweet about the law should make Madonna wear long-sleeves from now. That will totally help to make our eyes feel more pleasant.

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This memory is like coming back to haunt me a lot recently so I might as well make a confession right here right now.

*Breathe in*

Okay here goes:

I used to not able to spell the word 'idiot' correctly. Still doesn't though, but I always manage to correct myself now.

I used to spell it as 'I-Do-It'.

I didn't know I was spelling it wrongly all along until two of my sec sch friends told me that through msn.

Nearly wanted to just log off right there, right then just to avoid their giggles. Pai-seh to the core!

That's why I always tend to giggle when I saw the word 'idiot' and I now always have the tendency to pronounce it as 'i-do-it'.

Damn~

Looking more like an 'i-do-it' than I already am.

Thanks arh, Lady D and Mr Lohan.

每当深夜，我总不自主的想，想著为我守候的那个你，是否也如我一般，遥想著我呢？如果，你是那个等了我好久的人，我又该如何告诉你我在这里，我也一直等著你？

　　------原来，在未曾相遇前，我们已彼此想念。

　　要是，我选择了太多次的错路而浪费了与你相遇的时间……

　　------也许，因为等待，我们会更懂珍惜。

　　要是，我因为太多杂乱的念头和纷乱的思绪驻足，使你孤单的时间更长……

　　------也许，因为经历过一次又一次的失望和伤害，我们学会了包容和原谅。

　　请再等我一下下，好吗？我学著不去伤害、学著体谅、学著了解，我试著让自己准备完全……

　　------只是，我害怕。

　　若我们会是如此的重视和珍惜彼此，当我拥有你，我怀疑自己是不是还有勇气说出口，即使没有你，我还是可以一个人好好的生活

C. L. O. V. E. R.。

　　------那是四片叶的幸运草，那是我想给你的幸福。

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Anyone heard of this name "Emmanuel" before?

I didn't till recently.

It's nice isn't it? The way it rolls on ur tongue...

And the thing is...I thought it's a girl's name in the 1st place. Turns out the opposite. Or at least the person carrying it has the gender 'Male' on his ID.

I think I'm gonna use it for my son/daughter in the future. If I have any...

Ok...now it's so stuck my head. Can someone get it off from me and for me pls?

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1st Day of THE TRAINING FROM HELL

1st day of training *pant pant* and I...can't...breathe....

There's a lot of stressing on quality and it really makes me panicked a bit.

But I gotta say...I learn quite a lot from this.

Tomorrow is the evaluation and we gotta do a roleplay in order to pass and so call 'graduate' to do the actual tele-surveying.

Feels like school all over again.

Worst thing is all the people that speaks in slangs. What are they trying to do? Wanna let me get use to slang so that I could understand the American professors when I starts school? I'm not even sure the 'slang' they speak is the American way!!!

My god...headache. Gonna die of brain tumor at a very young age.

So many Michelle(s) surrounding me.....

*faint*

And the training is SO.DAMN.LONG.

10am-5pm(def will get extended. Like today). Didn't anyone realised an average person's attention span is not that long? Or does that only applies to me?

And the shitty thing is today it rains EARLY IN THE MORNING. So damn nice to sleep in la! Unlike previous days! Why do they have to choose today of all day to rain? WHEN I HAVE TO WAKE UP EARLY IN THE MORNING AND CANNOT SLEEP IN NO MATTER WHAT?

So many butterflies hitting the walls of my stomach right now. And that's just at the thought of the role-play tmr. And they never say it's in front of the whole 'class' of 22 or they will go around the tables. I hope its the latter. It's been decades since I 'touch' the entire 'presenting in front of the whole class' thingy. I really get outta touch la. Can spare me or not?

Another good thing that comes out of today's training is Mr Teh Tarik. It's a really cheap Teh Tarik store in Far East Sq (I think la. Fast East sth de...) that sells very huge and SWEET (According to me. The freaks beside me think it's JUST NICE) @ only $1.50. Damn cheap la~ Maybe I'll have that tmr again. We'll see...cause it's very filling and I cannot bring it on MRT in fear of kena-ing 'summons'....

Hello~ Anybody there?

Wanna blog something just now and then this happens:

No matter how hard I try I cannot paste pictures (fate la. I only paste pics like once in 10 yrs and this hafta happen), put words in italics and bold or whatever shit. So frustrating la.

And the words looks so typewriter-lish. Ugly la~ Totally puts me off the mood to blog anything what-so-ever.

At first I blame it on Blogger, keep on cursing their maintenance and everything... Then I realised it might be Firefox's fault (so many Fs...) so I decided to open IE8 and see what happens....

And voila!

The original Blogger page that I'm used to! Never realised I will missed it that much. And words are not typewriter-lish anymore but I'm sick of more print screens.

So kids, at the end of the day, the morale of the story is....

Always do backups. And make sure you have substitutes. Subsitutes are always good for your health no matter what.

Tata for now~ And if I happen to rmb what I wanna initially wanna blog abt (before this whole damn shit happens), then I will blog it up later. If not, just forget it la~

P.s. OMG Just discovered that my desktop is really widescreen. ALL THE PICS TOTALLY SCORES IN WIDTH!!!!

I knew I grew fatter recently.

Don't have a weighing machine at home to prove it but its becoming pretty obvious from those meats stuck to my face.

And you know what?

I LOVE IT!

Well I used to look thinner (when in reality i'm not that thin) due to the strong circumference of my face. It's like my mouth is 1 km away from the tip of the jaw. Cause every part of my body grow cept for my head when i gain on weight. The end result is totally weird - a small head stuck to a big body. Like those people that weight-lift a lot. But now...

Even the head gain weight! Yeah~ I got a bigger head now!

I love the new chubbier me. Though the tip of the jaw is still in fact 1 km away from my mouth. But it does not look so bloody obvious now! It's like all those non-stop late night munching finally gets to me! Every part of me grew fat as well but I'm going to ignore them for the sake of the new and rounder head.

Weee~

Time 4 A Change!

Erm...my current Maxonline Express Plan expired ages ago. Now I'm contemplating btwn MaxOnline Express Plus (8mbps home + 1mbps mobile) and Singtel 10mbps broadband(the whole Mio shit thingy).

Both has its pros and cons. I'm not going to list everything down here. It's far too lay-chey~

Mum's pretty against me switching (old-school la. Hate chgs of any sort) but for the benefit of her pocket, I'm gg 2 ignore her - again.

Hmm...which one should I choose? Any ideas?

You know how sometimes you try so hard to solve a problem when the answer is always there, right within your reach?

That's how I'd been feeling lately. Take for instance just now, I've been wondering for ages how to tap other families' unsecured internet like I used to before I reformatted the desktop. Been stubbornly trying to connect to no avail for abt 2 months. And then alas, I just remembered an article I'd seen ages ago abt static ip. Then I go and un-static mine. A-ha! Able to connect to the internet without the need of opening my previous modem.

It's like all along I know that with static ip I'm unable to connect to other connection except my home default connection. But some wires came loose and then the thinking just stops there. Never came to the conclusion to do sth abt it.

Sometimes you just don't need to think so hard cause when the answer comes, you know it's so simple that you wanna spit on yourself.

Lady D keep praising that I have a 'good brain', and she keeps looking to me for answers to simply everything. I realized that that's not the truth, in fact she keeps thinking too complex-ly and insist that the way that she's going is the ONLY way to solve whatever she's facing. When sometimes there's another easier and speedier way. I might be doing the same if I'm in her shoes. Sometimes you are just blind-ed by the situation. You just need a outstander/bystander, onlooker/whatever to just point you the road that you didn't see before.

I used to be irritated at Lady D, thinking she's too lazy to think when she's ard me - that she relied too much on me. That might be part of the truth, but now I think I'm going to let her rely on me once in a while. That's due to the understanding of '当局者迷，旁观者清'.

Who knows when I might need her to do the same?

Desktop Customization

Just wanna show off my new desktop. Those who will have the Vista Ultimate will be very familar with this. Moving/animated wallpapers. U can put videos inside as well! Mine is actually video ^^ Erm...but mine is hacked so it's kinda fake/pirated....

Anyway I like the feel of having no icons on my desktop recently so I moved everything into the dock on the left! Nicer rite?

@ the right is where the vista gadgets are - namely weather forecast, notes, clock and calendar. There's more but it's on the next page of the sidebar.

And then somtimes I like to hide my toolbars to make the desktop a little more neater. So I hide my toolbar as well and it looks like this:


That's like so damn clean rite?

I'm so happy yesterday!

As most of ya know, it's not easy for me to make friends and most 'friends' that I got doesn't stay.

The friends that I have currently can be counted with one hand.

Pitiful yeah?

That's the reason why I gt so overjoyed when Lady D told me that 'it doesn't matter if other plp comes. I want you to be there'.

So honoured!!!!

This is the first time I realised that someone even considered me to be their best friend!

Usually I'm in one of those 'can hang out but not anywhere near the best' kinda friend.

Nearly broke down la!

Okay....that's exaggerating it a bit but still there's like flowers blossoming behind me when I heard this(you know those anime cutscenes?).

This nearly makes me forgive her for the times where she uses me as an 'encyclopedia'...but not quite.

But I don't know what am I supposed to be doing in a Malay wedding. Eat myself full? Cause I think I will definitely need distractions from all those 'unknown language' swarming around me. Then can I leave once I am full? I promise I will drop by for dinner!

Seriously I dun think anyone will wanna talk to me there cause firstly I stand out a lot (prob being the only chinese there) and the only Malay word I know till now is 'jumban' <--pretty useful ya?

Headache just from thinking abt it. We'll see how when the time comes.

Oh yeah, pls click here.

Sth Nice

Guys..try this:
1. Go here.
2. Type anything. Seriously just search for anything.
3. Go here and copy and whatever that's inside on the address bar.

Nice rite?

Found it off a very interesting forum full of IT stuff and future Bill Gates. Think I'm gonna be hanging ard there a lot from now on....

Teen-lish

I'm reading some age-old posts of Xiaxue's blog when i come across the comment about typing like a teen. For those who have absolutely no idea whatsoever, it looks like this: 'h3llo. Gd dae 2 u' etc.

I slowly looked down to my hands (happily resting on the wireless keyboard) and then it dawned on me. OMG! I'm typing in teen-lish!

On second thought, it not like I'm doing major crimes just by doing that. And it does get a long entry complete in a much lesser time.

But somehow I'm still offended by the typing like a teen thang.

I know that she dun mean any harm whatsoever but....

Hey I'm also typing teen-lish but I'm ALREADY 22 yrs old ok? 22 F***ING YEARS OLD OF SWEATS AND TEARS!

Being a 22 year old lady (u can read that as 22 year old*pause*lady or 22 year*pause* old lady. I dun mind...), I can hardly be classified as a teen. No matter how hard u try (but thanks for making the effort).

Damn! She already made me type less teen-like subconsciously! I'm so easily influenced!

p.s okay this is totally random. But I think I'm chging my blogskin again. This blogger one is so hard to customise. Then again, I dun think anyone would care. Okay, bye!

My Dark Eyebags Vowed To Stay As PR

You know how in fairytales they always like to say "XXX is woke up by the song of the birds" or whatever shit?

Well...something like that happens to me this morning.

Except that in fairytales it's always sparrows, but for me it's crows instead.

٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶ 差别待遇....٩(-̮̮̃-̃)۶

So in the end instead of woke up with sparrows chirping out my window, I have echos of crows instead.

Really thanks arh~

I know I cursed the primary school RIGHT BENEATH my block a million times already, but I'm gonna do it again. Cause this is also entirely their fault.

If they don't feed the crows so much (using whatever leftover foods that could be put into better use at some orphanage or sth), they wouldn't be in such a mood to do sing-a-long at my window. AND if they don't feed them so much, they wouldn't be so fat until they can only reach MY bedroom window and have no choice but to sing to me.

And right after I've been fully woke up by crows' sing-a-long (purely out of no choice, extreme light-sleeper and they had to do this 7 o'clock in the morning), I heard a sudden roaring factory-like noise coming from down below. When I first moved to Sengkang, I thought it was sth like a big renovation gg on but now I will just think 'ooOoo..they (the primary school) open their air-con again arh...'.

So many nonsense from this school la, no wonder all the kids like to go this school. At least they are the one disturbing other plp....

Breathless from watching War of The Worlds on Channel 5.

Can't believed that it's the 1st time I heard of this movie..it's really truly fantastic!

Although the aliens in this movie look strangely suspicious like the ones in the recent animation movie "Monsters vs Aliens" (or is it the other way round?.....Whatever....).

A quick research using the net uncovers that there are various versions of the movie, all based on the famous sci-fi novel by H G Wells. There's many movie interpretations but the one that I watched just now is the 2005 Tom Cruise version.

Because I only caught glance of it when I am torturing the remote buttons, when I started watching it's already like 45 mins into the show. Okay I admit I stopped switching channels because I saw Tom Cruise. But hey, I never watched ANYTHING with Tom Cruise in it before okay? So I just wanna see what it's like....

All I can say it didn't disappointed.

For those who didn't watched but is planning to watch it later, skip this spoiler:
The ending kinda confuses me. Too much humans are killed so they developed an immunity in their blood to 'deactivate' the shields of the alien tripod robots???!!!! So the morale of the story is? Humans always win even after we are eaten? Or we should get eaten or bullied by aliens more often so that we can develop 'immunities' to them?

Inspirational - For All The 'Old' Plp Out There

hmm.....anyone knows how to strike off the items in 'wants'?
I wanna strike off Sims 3....