Article Full of Shit (parental advisory)

I am full of complaints today cuz I just found out that my life is really full of shit. I mean literally.
Eversince I came home from sch yesterday at abt 6pm, my poor fat butt has been kissing the two toliet bowls in my hse for dunno how many times already (Why 2? Cuz the toliet paper in one of the toliet is used up so I have 2 use the other one until I got time away from shitting 2 replace). Ironically I am well known for constipation so this is probably the most I have shitted in my 20 yrs of almost-shitless life.
The worst thing is I have 2 trial and error bcuz I dunno whether I shit is bcoz of the food I eat or bcoz I am too hungry (shit 2 much until there's nothin inside)? Lucky everytime I trial and error I gets the correct answer, if not I will have 2 sleep later than 4am (been lying on the bed since 6pm but have been shitting ever since). But even if I eat I also can eat bread coz my mum likes to cook with lotsa oil so I cannot eat anything xcept bread which looks cheap(so thick. might as well dun cut), taste cheap and is cheap by the way(i think 70 cents for a loaf).
Then the poor me have 2 sort out a time from shitting 2 visit the doctor. Alone. Poor me! What is I faint on the way? What if I didn't bring wallet and have 2 embrass myself in public 4 attempting 2 see doctor for free( Like duh, the doctor is not even half handsome. Erm..sorry doctor. But u are a nice person though. Haha. Ha.{nervous laugh})? Or what if..? Alrite alrite, I admit I juz wan someone 2 accompany me coz I hate seeing the doctor. The entire process is so boring, esp the waiting process. Nth 2 do except 2 see guys trying 2 weigh themselves when they thought noone is watching. Boring!
As if it is not enough, even since I came home yesterday my mum has been scolding me & saying that serves me rite for eating heaty stuff (I admit I did eat quite a lot of heaty food lately. Spicy cuttlefish, spicy prawn rolls, kfc X2, Mac, toasted bread cramped all in 2 weeks. Waahh! Now it's all wasted. All float into the sea le lah!) & making me feel guilty. Den when I go and see the doctor today...ah ha! The doctor says there's a higher probabilty (he also not quite sure :P) of it being food poisoning than flu as I dun have the relevant symptoms like running nose etc.Then this time my mother feels guilty and offer me better food ( but still not food to me) - mee hoon with veggies and soup (soup contains water and pepper. Yuck! Taste like water!). Although it still doesn't taste nice, but it's better than eating bread again. Thanks mum for the effort!