Random Sadness

A week of break and I got nth to do...

Everyday FB and then read e-books and then FB again...

Lousy vicious cycle.

Kinda missed sch and kinda dun missed as well...Really 'rojak' feeling towards it.

Hard to describe la.

Really think I will flop this exam. Really scared. 1st exam only leh! Really paiseh if I really flop it lor. But the format really sucks. 10 marks for those short short ans qn and 5 marks for those ' list and describe' questions. Really think NEW water got into my lecturer's brain. All shit water.

Then again maybe not...since I wrote answers which I rather positive its correct for most questions. Those 5 marks 'list and describe' ones...

DAMN~

On a side note, just went back from visiting my aunt. The eldest one from my father's side. I called everyone aunt la. No matter which side. Not really good with the 'family tree' stuff. Not gonna bother too. Even if I have kids in the future. Everyone will be 'auntie' to him/her. Easier for him/her and me. Nonsense-free.

Anyway, my aunt suffers from kidney failure from ages ago. Among others like heart disease, high cholesterol and other shit. The visit was kinda like the last farewell kind. Though there was a lot of false alarms and 'last farewells' in the past, I really hope that this 'last farewell' will really be the real 'last farewell'.

Not to sound un-filial or evil. But it really pains me to see her suffer.

She's in so much pain that even she herself begged the doctor for drugs to 'let her die'. And I mean literally 'begged'.

So speechless when I saw her right hand. It's almost as big as an elephant trunk. No joke. Blood is unable to circulate to her hand due to too many operations and kidney treatments. It's literally black and swollen. And it's covered with operation scars.

It's so heavy that she can barely hold it up.

My mum said she got the diseases cause she indulged herself in unhealthy food previously. I told mum to control Dad's eating habit as well. Cause he was a bit like his sister - like to indulge himself in big portions of delicacies.

It's really not worth it. You can enjoy delicacies but when it's really not worth suffering in pain and turmoil for several years for it.